What’s the big deal about needing an exit strategy in Iraq? Regardless of whether the troops stay amidst suicide bombings and insurgent attacks to attempt to impart a democratic way of life, or if they pack up and leave it all behind, there is going to be the same results. The place will be a hell hole filled with angry towel heads shooting at each other, and blowing themselves and everything up. But since so many people seem to think we need an exit strategy yet nobody has even tried to provide one, I would like to offer to the Pentagon “My Kick Ass Exit Strategy”.
Step 1
Withdraw troops from the area farthest into the country and immediately send bomber planes over the area to annihilate the place.
Step 2
Redeploy the troops from step 1 to the next nearest area of fighting to relieve the troops there.
Step 3
Redeploy the relieved troops from step 2 to the next nearest area of fighting to relieve those troops.
Step 4
Repeat steps 2 and 3 until the last group of relieved troops have nowhere else to go except home.
Step 5
Repeat steps 1 through 4 until there are no more places for the bomber planes to annihilate and the last group of troops has gone home.
Step 6
With all Americans back home safely, launch aggressive bombing raids in Iran and North Korea to annihilate those entire countries in order to derail their eminent attacks on us.
Step 7
Return Osama Bin Laden’s threat about converting to Islam to end the Iraq War and change it to the requirement of all Islamics to convert to Judaism in order to prevent the annihilation of all their countries.
Step 8
Inevitably, we will have to annihilate the entire middle east with more aggressive bombing raids.
Step 9
Enjoy living in a towel head-free world as we flip the bird to the Nobel Peace Prize judges.
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