Friday, May 18, 2007

A Public Service Announcement

Hey Kids! I will be gone for the next 2 weeks, so there won't be any Weekly Squeak's for you to read!

But you can check out
Andy's Weird Warped World in the mean time!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Lest Ye Be Judged


Jerry Falwell died this afternoon in Virginia. I couldn't help but to immediately wonder if God will judge him as harshly as he judged gays, lesbians, feminists, the ACLU, the PFAW, anti-apartheid activists, Bill Clinton, John McCain, the Scientific community, the teletubbies, democrats, AIDS patients, and pretty much everyone who isn't Southern Baptist.


Don't get me wrong. I don't support most of those groups either. Especially those darn teletubbies, they are the downfall of our society. I just never liked the way he talked down to those groups. He was a very condescending person when viewed in the public eye. I always thought it was funny how that "Reverend" was more concerned with chastising non-Christians than with showing them a righteous path.


I know I should say nice things about someone recently deceased, but that is just not the way I view the guy. As a member of a Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) church, I have always hated our affiliation with Jerry Falwell. The guy was a complete weeny. The bigoted comments and belief in segregation of that weeny has totally tainted the image of the SBC and many people look at us different as a result. The beliefs of Jerry Falwell have ruined church pastors who have been run out of churchs after finding that actual christians don't mind worshipping alongside of blacks. In fact our last pastor was one of those guys. The worst part is, I have heard people say that they are not acceptable enough to go to church because they were looked down upon by condescending "Christians" like Jerry Falwell.


I would say, "The world is better off without him", but that would be more judgment on a person than I would want on myself from God.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

And God said; "Let they be B-atch's"

Every so often, I encounter somebody who is such an incredible dumb a** that I consider it my Christian duty and moral obligation to point this person out.




Meet Jeff Johnson. This guy actually believes that Southern Churches and Civil Rights activists are as sexist as rap and hip-hop artists. HOLY CRAP! What a dumb a**! This pervert obviously thinks that Rosa Parks hiked up her skirt at the bus stop and did “the clap” before getting on the bus. Apparently the only history books he has ever read are previously jacked on issues of Playboy. He also thinks that Pastors of Southern Churches preach about serving God by pimpin’ out your b-atch’s and ho’s. At his church they apparently pass crack pipes instead of offering plates. The only people stupid enough to print the crap he writes is CNN.com.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Dumb A** Headlines



Why Ebola is Killing Gorillas
I may be going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing that Ebola is killing gorillas because it’s a deadly flesh eating virus.

How the US Plans To Tackle Iran
Does it matter what they wrote in the article. The retard in the White House will probably handle Iran as badly as Iraq.

War in Iraq Troubled
Is there a trouble free way to run a war? Is there any dumb a** in the country that doesn’t know about the car bombing and political troubles in Iraq?

L.A. Tops List of Most Polluted Cities
Of course dumb a**, that’s why L.A. is used as the stereotypic example of uncontrolled smog?

Relocating Gets Tougher When Home Sales are Slow
I would think this would be readily evident, but apparently it isn’t to this journalist.

Bush Likely to Veto Iraq Proposal
This wouldn’t be so dumb a** if Bush wasn’t quoted last week as vowing to automatically veto everything.

Castro Absent From May Day Celebrations
Is it really a surprise that a dying man recovering from intestinal surgery would stay home? Besides, the guy is like 80 years old. A celebration to him could be completely comprised of drinking a glass of Metamucil and watching an episode of Matlock.

Brittany Spears Bares All
Unless she’s hiding an Illegal Mexican in her cooter, I think we’ve seen all there is.

Serial Killer Convicted of Murder

Well, they’re sure as heck not gonna give ‘em the Nobel Prize.