Fictional Journalism

According to MSNBC, Israeli Troops killed 8 Palestinians in Gaza yesterday. According to USA Today, Israeli Troops killed 10 Palestinians in Gaza yesterday. According to CNN, Israeli Troops killed 11 Palestinians in Gaza yesterday. According to Reuters, Israeli Troops killed 12 Palestinians in Gaza yesterday. And According to the New York Times, Israeli Troops killed 13 Palestinians in Gaza yesterday. So, which is it?

According to USA Today, it was a scaled back attack. According to MSNBC, it was the bloodiest fighting in the area so far. And of course Reuters just reprinted what the MSNBC guy wrote. If it weren’t for the same date, and some specific names in all of them, they wouldn’t even appear to be the same event.

Are these news people just making this crap up? If the story is true then one, or maybe all of them, are lying to some degree. The thing about these stories is, they are about an event that happened so far away that none of their readers can actually verify the story. So basically they could just make up whatever they want. And I am starting to think that they are.

You would think these guys would check with each other before printing stuff so their stories can at least look like valid accounts of an event.

Just Plain Wrong!

It seems like everyday since the war in Iraq began that I have read a news headline about Humvee mounted US Soldiers being killed by roadside attacks.

Did you know that there is a such a vehicle that can protect US Troops from both land mines, and roadside attacks? I didn't either. It's called the Cougar Mine Resistant, Ambushing Protecting 4X4. Did you also know that the military has only just now decided to supply these to the troops in Iraq?

So let me get this straight. The military could have sent these to Iraq in 2001, but didn't see anything wrong with Soldiers being killed as a result of the inferior vehicles they have to use to patrol Iraq? That is just wrong!

I guess that's what happens when you put an organization with such little regard for human life in charge of our sons and daughters.

How To Pull A Global Warming Solution Out Of Thin Air

In a previous post, I had stated how stupid it was to say that carbon offsets can fight global warming when the presence of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is extremely small while the presence of water vapor is extremely high. According to that logic, it would be necessary for people to instead seek out water vapor offsets. As of recently there had been absolutely no practical way to offset the water vapor that is put into the air through evaporation. The closest thing there has ever been to removing water from the sky was a practice called “seeding” the clouds, but this was just some dust bowl era gimmick to swindle money from desperate farmers.

Recently, a pair of researchers developed a relatively efficient way to condense water vapor back into liquid form. Their invention is called the WatAir fresh water system, and this 10 foot wide inverted pyramid shaped funnel can remove dozens of liters of vaporized water from the atmosphere everyday. It is an ingenious invention that utilizes the natural tendency of water vapor to condense when it reaches a temperature referred to as the dew point. And what’s funny is, these people don’t give a rats butt about global warming. They designed this as a way to bring fresh water to underdeveloped countries. The secondary use of the WatAir for reducing the most abundant greenhouse gas from the atmosphere has not even been realized yet, and probably never will because politicians aren’t being paid by special interest groups to push for water vapor offsets.

The Squeaky Wheel's Lament

Is anyone else tired of hearing about the violence in the Middle East? I looked at the 54 headlines I get on my homepage from 12 different news sources and counted 24 of them that are referring to the violence in the Middle East. That means almost half of the news I receive is about towel heads I really don’t want to know about, doing things with explosives strapped to themselves that I don’t want to know about, in God forbidden and nearly inhospitable places that I don’t want to know anything about, for some bootleg god named Allah that I could totally care less about. And the worst of all is the news of American soldiers dying for reasons that Washington hasn’t really disclosed. I mean in the beginning they said it was to find weapons of mass destruction, but if that’s the reason they are still going with, then those retards in Washington need to realize that they are in the wrong country. THE NUKES ARE IN IRAN!

So basically the news these days SUCKS! Or at least that’s how I see it.

Life Imitates Shtick Comedy

This has to be the funniest news story I’ve heard in a long time. Or at least it turned out to be since the guy didn’t get hurt or anything. Basically what happened is, this guy in a wheel chair was crossing a 2 lane highway at a cross walk when his wheel chair got stuck in the grill of a semi truck as the traffic light turned green. The guy apparently rode for countless miles on the front of the semi before the police pulled the driver over.




In another news story where life imitates shtick comedy, actor Rob Lowe hit a golf ball during a celebrity golf tournament in Iowa. The golf ball then struck a bird that was in mid-flight. As it turned out, the bird was a rare Goldfinch that was immediately identified by locals as the Iowa state bird.

I just think it’s really funny because I have seen both of these incidents in movies before.