Say What!?

According to an article in fox news, a world language dies out about every 2 weeks. So that means every year there are 26 different virtually unknown languages that are "phased" out. Since there are an estimated 7000 languages around the world, it would only take an estimated 270 years for all the languages in the world to dwindle down to one planetary language. Hmm, I wonder what that language would be. Who we kidding? it will probably be the most common and fastest spreading language in the world today, Spanish.

Isn't there something in the book of Revelations about the people during the 1000 years of reign having the same currency and speaking the same language. Ah mi Dios (Oh my God) that means that Christ will be a beaner. Mierda santa (Holy crap) that also means that Satan is ruling the world now. Aye, aye, aye.

Oh well, who cares? I am probably wrong anyways.

Would The REAL Bin Laden Please Step Forward?

Well, if nobody else is going to ask the question, then I guess I will. Who the heck is the guy in that Al-Qaida video that was released the other day? It sure as heck isn’t the Osama Bin Laden that Al-Qaida claims it is. I mean seriously, besides the fact that both are middle eastern men with long beards, they are completely different physically. Look at the shape of the eyes. Look at the spacing of the eyes in relation to the nose. Look at the size of the nose in relation to the whole face. Look at the width of the mouth in relation to the width of the face. Look at the ears in relation to the eyes. These are all things that can’t be changed by packing on some extra pounds and using some Grecian Formula. There is no way anyone can tell me that these are pictures of the same person.

So if the guy in the video isn’t Bin Laden, then why not? Is Bin Laden dead? That would also explain why the US military has been unable to find him. His remains could be lying inside an inconspicuous burial tomb. Of course there is also the possibility that he isn’t even in that part of the world anymore, but Al-Qaida wants the US to think he is with this video of the world’s worst Bin Laden decoy. However, the most likely answer is that Bin Laden is so frail and sickly from all the running and possible injuries sustained from being chased out of caves that the film makers didn’t think the actual Bin Laden would be able to portray himself as a strong leader.

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But seriously, I am still waiting for somebody to come forward and admit that the video is some You Tube prank.

We've Out Stayed Our Welcome In Iraq

What’s the big deal about needing an exit strategy in Iraq? Regardless of whether the troops stay amidst suicide bombings and insurgent attacks to attempt to impart a democratic way of life, or if they pack up and leave it all behind, there is going to be the same results. The place will be a hell hole filled with angry towel heads shooting at each other, and blowing themselves and everything up. But since so many people seem to think we need an exit strategy yet nobody has even tried to provide one, I would like to offer to the Pentagon “My Kick Ass Exit Strategy”.

Step 1
Withdraw troops from the area farthest into the country and immediately send bomber planes over the area to annihilate the place.

Step 2
Redeploy the troops from step 1 to the next nearest area of fighting to relieve the troops there.

Step 3
Redeploy the relieved troops from step 2 to the next nearest area of fighting to relieve those troops.

Step 4
Repeat steps 2 and 3 until the last group of relieved troops have nowhere else to go except home.

Step 5
Repeat steps 1 through 4 until there are no more places for the bomber planes to annihilate and the last group of troops has gone home.

Step 6
With all Americans back home safely, launch aggressive bombing raids in Iran and North Korea to annihilate those entire countries in order to derail their eminent attacks on us.

Step 7
Return Osama Bin Laden’s threat about converting to Islam to end the Iraq War and change it to the requirement of all Islamics to convert to Judaism in order to prevent the annihilation of all their countries.

Step 8
Inevitably, we will have to annihilate the entire middle east with more aggressive bombing raids.

Step 9
Enjoy living in a towel head-free world as we flip the bird to the Nobel Peace Prize judges.