VICTORY!

We won the war with Iraq! Unfortunately for our Iraq Troops, there is no celebration at the announcement, no ticker tape parade to honor them, nothing. Only a speech from the president saying we should quickly put it behind us and "turn the page". That's right troops; we don't want to ponder on the fact that you put your life on the line for our country, we just want to forget it. And why not? It probably pains Obamuhammed to see the US whooping up on his towel headed allies in the middle east.

One thing I noticed about the president's speech is that he seemed to skirt around the idea of a US victory in Iraq. This morning as I read commentary on his speech, the news media is avoiding the idea completely. Why not? I mean we did subdue the country, and make it the US's B-otch. Or, if you want some hard number statistics, we killed 100,000 of their guys and they only killed 5000 of our guys. Where I come from, that's victory. So, why are the troops getting "snubbed"? I'll tell you why, because the liberal media loves them some Obamuhammed. If they say it's a victory, then that would look too good for Bush and the GOP who supported the war. So, they will not call it a victory. I think it's sad that the troops won a war for their country, but will probably never be given that credit.

Washington should be ashamed.

Philly Requires Payment for Free Speech

I usually don't send readers directly to another place for everything about a particular topic, but this instance is different. And not just because I didn't feel like writing a serious blog post today. This guy has links to the original story, good commentary to the story, an update with the Philly government's response to the commentaries on the story, and his own commentary on the response from Philly's government. The guy was so complete that there is nothing more I can add. So, check out the below link.

The Bone Head of the Day Award

BP Executives Are total Douche Bags

I know it’s probably too late to be asking this but, does anybody really understand why the decision makers at BP are total douche bags? It isn’t because they are the company responsible for the oil leak and that they totally dropped the ball on employee and ecological safety that the media has fixated on for the past 80+ days. Nope, that just makes them numb-nuts. It’s because throughout the whole thing, they have never stopped thinking about how they can continue to extract oil from this well or additional wells in the same spot. I have seen them make a greater effort at securing their future income, while watching the financial future of 5 states worth of Gulf Coast businesses being flushed down a Gulf of Mexico sized toilet.

The first and most douche bag thing BP did really has no connection to stopping an oil leak which was to start drilling 2 alternate wells that they call “relief wells”. BP doesn’t fool the engineers out there, we know that there’s enough oil in those reserves to provide maximum flow rate through all 3 oil wells. The real point behind those was to get more wells going in the Gulf before all that untapped deep sea oil is once again prohibited to drilling. Trust me; those wells aren’t going to relieve anything.

There were 2 capping methods that BP tried next that had tried in the past with no success, but they tried them anyways because they are a method to quickly extracting oil from the well that would otherwise be lost. Then there was the “junk shot/top kill method” which they should have tried first because it had the most chance of success, but of course they didn’t even try that until a month later. This would have probably worked, but there was so little time spent on this because it wasn’t what BP wanted to do.

Now they are back to re-capping the well. Why, because stopping the oil flow all together to save the Gulf of Mexico doesn’t benefit them. They ultimately want to extract that oil with no regard to wildlife and the livelihoods of uncountable numbers; all for the sake of their own bottom line. Everything BP has put effort on for this oil disaster has been directed at extracting, and NOT stopping the oil flow. That is what makes them total douche bags.

The End Of The Line

I think I will stop writing the Weekly Squeak blog. It hasn't turned out to be what I originally wanted it to be, and I am getting no response from it. And besides that, I am really tired of news and current events that only seem to bring me down. Maybe I will come back to this, maybe I won't. God only knows.

In the mean time, I will start putting more effort into the Warped World Blog.

The News In Review

Latest Thoughts On the Election

I am starting to like John McCain's way of doing things. He is more of a shut up and do what needs to be done kind of a guy. Whereas Mitt Romney is the kind of guy who just throws a bunch of money at a situation in hopes that it will take care of everything. The case in point: Romney spent 10 times the money on campaign ads, but McCain put in the time making calls and meeting with important people. I think that's how he won the Florida Primary. I am now absolutely sure that McCain should be president because "The Governator" traveled back in time from the future to endorse McCain as a way to save mankind from ultimate destruction.
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Brittany Spears In A Mental Hospital

Why does this not seem surprising to me? Oh, that's right! She shaved off her hair, ran over a reporter with her car, and thought K-Fed had singing talent. We already knew she was looney tunes way before the ambulance came and took her away.
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Are You Sure That Sofisticated State-Of-The-Art Plane Came From The US Military?

U.S. Intelligence is denying an attack on Pakistan despite the fact that the explosions in question were the result of bombs dropped by a couple of billion dollar pilot-less Predator aircraft. The Pentagon is also denying the bombing despite the fact that the bombs just happen to have landed on an Al Qaeda base. Who knows, maybe it was one of the other free western countries wealthy enough to afford a Predater Drone. Seriously, how do we know the Swiss didn't do it?

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The Sky Is Falling

An ailing U.S. spy satellite, that is falling out of orbit after losing a communication link, is now ironically expected to be a threat to North America. Contingency plans are currently being drawn up to deal with the problem as the large satellite is expected to have a sizeable impact and to disperse a toxic chemcal called hydrazine. While Scientist hope the spacecraft lands in a mostly unpopulated area, FEMA just hopes the dang thing doesn't land in New Orleans.

Count Down

As a service to all Americans I will regulary post this count down clock to encourage everyone to hang tight because the worst president in US history is almost out of the White House.

The Weekly Squeak Signs Off For Another Year

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Entertainment News
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Ike Turner pimp slapped his last hoe yesterday at the age of 76.
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Who Wants To Be A Trillionaire?

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As the US government is planning to spend another 70 million dollars toward the 2 Trillion dollar goal for the war in Iraq, I find myself formulating yet another list of things that are a much better buy for a Trillion dollars.

1. Instead of spending a Trillion on a war aimed at gaining access to limited natural resources, why not spend a Trillion dollars on the research to find alternatives that are unlimited. Cold Fusion? Safe Nuclear? Affordable Ethanol? Powerful Solar? Even something stupid sounding that was inspired by Star Trek would be better.

2. Adopt a poor country. Use a Trillion dollars to develop a wasteland like Ethiopia and declare it the third wealthiest nation behind Switzerland and the US. If done right, we could guilt trip wealthier European nations into adopting needy countries as well.

3. Cover the carbon offset fines that Americans are likely going to be responsible to pay for by not giving up their ridiculously huge, carbon emitting, gas hogging SUV’s.

4. Completely overhaul the prison system which is apparently a total failure at rehabilitating criminals.

5. Build a fifty foot high wall between the US and Mexico, and call it ‘The Great Wall of Chico’. On the side facing Mexico we should paint the Spanish translation of; “Go around to the front door. It’s next to the big statue of the woman holding the torch.”
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Comentary

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I think I will make it my personal goal this Christmas Season to avoid watching the movie “A Christmas Story” at all costs.

I Just Sneezed And These Came Out

The $100 Laptop?

I just figured out what really seems odd about the “One Laptop Per Child’s” mission to distribute the donated $100 laptops to children in poor countries…duh!...they aren’t edible. See, the problem isn’t that these kids live in mud covered huts with no running water and scant food supplies; it’s that they live in towns with NO ELECTRICITY! So what the heck are these kids gonna do with some stupid hunk of plastic? The best I can figure is they can use it to spread more mud on their hut.

2008 Election Prediction

Every voter in this country can try to elect somebody other than Huckabee for President, but Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick them all out of the polls if they try.

Did I Call It Or What?

The retard that lives in the White House totally f**cked up last weeks Nuclear Summit in Annapolis. Since Iran was already claiming to be Nuke-Free, telling the Iranian President to come clean was basically just calling him a filthy liar. So instead of diffusing the Iranians desire to Nuke America, he took the opportunity to insult them and give them even more reason.

Everybody Can Just Suck My Wii-Wii

I am sooooooo tired of everyone talking about those stupid Wii game consoles. And what is the deal with game console makers never making enough to go around at Christmas time? Do you know how many kids are gonna forgo getting that game console later in the year because a competitor has made the next big thing by then? They are just screwing themselves out of profits by trying to stretch Christmas past the month of December.

All The News That's Fit To Blog

Field Of Dreams

Well kids. I guess I would be wrong if I didn't begin this weeks blog with a tribute to one of the finest people to ever call Cincinnati his home. I am of course referring to "The Ol' Lefthander", Mr. Joe Nuxhall. For anyone like me who has grown up in the queen city, it's impossible to imagine a Reds season without Joe as one of their announcers. And rightly so. Who else can claim to have started with the Reds at the age of 15, and then be apart of the team for more than 60 years! Not only did Joe love the Reds, but he loved Cincinnati, and I know I am not alone in saying that Cincinnati loved him. Make sure to check out http://hofjoe.com/ for information on getting him voted into the MLB Hall Of Fame. Goodbye Joe, it's time for you to round third and head for home.

Thanksgiving

A few years ago I wrote a series of Limericks for each holiday of the year and gave them to my wife who loves both everything Irish, and everything Holiday. So here is the one I wrote for Thanksgiving.

What if the pilgrims were Irish?

What if the pilgrims were Irish,

and not English Puritan Separatist?
How would it be,

back in history,

if Thanksgiving was started by the Celtics?

The ship that would have left from the dock

would not be the 'Mayflower', but the 'Shamrock'.

Irish whiskey in stow

to drink as they go

before stumbling onto shore at Plymouth Rock.

The Indian teachings of corn would be slow,

because every true Irishman knows.

That you will find,

at harvest time,

that The Irish can only grow potatoes.

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When the Indians and Settlers would sit down to eat,

the Thanksgiving meal would be different than in History.

Not the cornucopia,

from the region,

but Blood Pudding and strong Irish Whiskey.

Today when we have our Thanksgiving,

we would not be eating a Turkey.

if you took a look,

at what we'd cook,

it would be a Boxty with a side of Cracker Wheats.

Dumb A$$ of The Week

What's the deal with this Plastic Surgeon Jan Adams going on Larry King if he isn't going to talk about the death of Kanye West's mother? What the heck else is the guy going to talk about with Larry King? The Weather? He should have at least made a statement that it wasn't his fault. What a Dumb A$$.

Airstrike on Iraq

The military brass have finally called in an air strike. Hallelujah! Amen! It's about freakin' time! Now all they gotta do is step up the air strikes to cover the whole country. Similar to the way that Operation Desert Storm secured victory for the troops during The Gulf War.

Say What!?

According to an article in fox news, a world language dies out about every 2 weeks. So that means every year there are 26 different virtually unknown languages that are "phased" out. Since there are an estimated 7000 languages around the world, it would only take an estimated 270 years for all the languages in the world to dwindle down to one planetary language. Hmm, I wonder what that language would be. Who we kidding? it will probably be the most common and fastest spreading language in the world today, Spanish.

Isn't there something in the book of Revelations about the people during the 1000 years of reign having the same currency and speaking the same language. Ah mi Dios (Oh my God) that means that Christ will be a beaner. Mierda santa (Holy crap) that also means that Satan is ruling the world now. Aye, aye, aye.

Oh well, who cares? I am probably wrong anyways.

Israel or Palestine? Make up yor mind!

In further efforts to make themselves look like total retards, the Bush administration has decided to spend $80 million to train the Palestinian guard. Why would they decide to support the Palestinians after deciding last week to increase the amount of aid money that gets sent to the Israeli army. Do these retards actually not realize that Israel and Palestine are enemies?

Dear God, Please Save Us From That Man

In the never ending effort to make themselves look like total retards, leaders in Washington approved the sale of arms to Saudi Arabia. If I recall correctly, the US sold arms to both Iraq and Afghanistan. Weapons were sold to Iraq during their war with Iran, and they were also sold to Afghanistan when the Soviet Union began occupation of the country. And what did that get us? You got it! Now we are at war with both countries at the same time!

The list of ways that the retard in the White House has screwed up relations with the world, screwed up the American economy, and screwed up the security of America with mid-east deals, just keeps growing.

A Public Service Announcement

Hey Kids! I will be gone for the next 2 weeks, so there won't be any Weekly Squeak's for you to read!

But you can check out Andy's Weird Warped World in the mean time!

"Back in Black"

Hello readers. (assuming I get those here)

I'm Arpeggio Andy, formerly of MSN Spaces.

It's good to be back in the blogosphere after being forced out of MSN Spaces by the turds they refer to as "webmasters". These pusses are so lame that they didn't even have the nuts to tell me to my face (or at least e-mail) that they wanted me to leave. All they did was fix things so I couldn't edit the Space anymore.

To anyone who actually stopped by this blog: Hang with me, the entries do get alot better. And most importantly, thanks for your time.